Mountains

Keystone Kops

If you are over 60, you will remember these characters. They were a Mack Sennett creation of the silent movie days. The original movies were shot from 1912 to 1917, but there were revivals in the '30s and Buster Keaton appeared in "Abbott and Costello Meet the Keystone Kops" in 1955. So what prompted this stroll down memory lane? It was partly a thought I had about our current state of affairs and a comparison with L'il Abners Schmoos. But that's for a later column. I began thinking about the absolute bedlam that has overtaken our government.

If the youngsters in my readership were confused by Keystone Kops, bedlam may be more confusing. Bedlam is defined as a scene of wild uproar and confusion. "Bedlam" derives from an insane asylum in London, the Hospital of St. Mary of Bethlehem and has become the synonym for wild confusion.

Back to the Kops! The urban dictionary describes the Keystone Kops as an inept group or organization that are unable to get things done because of lack of coordination or intelligence. In Sennett's movies these guys mostly ran around in circles, losing their way on a police chase, falling off the police cruiser and generally making plenty of noise as they fumbled the ball repeatedly. They never got anything right. The resemblance to our current state of affairs is indisputable.

The recent Boston Massacre made this only too obvious. The older brother Tamerlan had been on the CIA and FBI terrorists watch lists; Russia had been investigating and made several overtures to the CIA about him. The FBI questioned the family in 2011; yet dropped him from the list during his trip to Russia. These brothers were on welfare yet drove luxury cars, made purchases of bomb-making materials and attended upscale schools. Other red flags? The family immigrated to America under the asylum exception, went on welfare and then the parents moved back to Dagestan two years later.

How about the plea to Boston to identify these murderers? The CIA, FBI, and DHS all had pictures of them!

The most egregious Keystone Kops move was the Mirandizing of Dzokhar. Under the Public Safety Exemption the FBI could question Dzokhar about what he knew about possible further threats and information he may have about the bombing. This interrogation can be continued until criminal charges are filed. Once filed, the murderer must be Mirandized. Guess who stepped in and filed charges? The Department of Justice, Mr. Eric Holder.

Yes, this is the same Holder who proclaims that Nidal Hassan shouting Alluah Akbar as he killed 13 and wounded 31 more, the Hassan that corresponded with Jihadists in Pakistan, the Hassan that had been identified as a radical Muslim by his fellow officers - yeah, that Holder who calls the Fort Hood Massacre an instance of "workplace violence." Perhaps he fell off the kruiser and landed on his head? The Fort Hood Massacre took place in 2009, but has yet to go to any trial. Of course he was injured as he was taken down and has been under rehabilitative hospital care since then. There is no doubt about his guilt, with a roomful of witnesses. I would have let him die and saved thousands of dollars. He is receiving first-class care; his victims are either dead or pleading for help from the VA. Who says the Keystone Kops quit performing in 1917?

How about the Keystoners current massive push to disarm the law-abiding gun-owners of America while arming the Mexican drug cartels? Of course they were just trying to trace the movement of guns; but darn it, they forgot to put tracing devices in the guns. Do you think that Mack Sennet may have created this farce?

Oh I almost forgot that while disarming America and arming violent drug cartels, our Washington Keystoners decided to provide the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt with F-16s, tanks and millions of dollars in "aid." The Muslim Brotherhood is a radical Muslim organization dedicated to a worldwide caliphate under Sharia law and the elimination of Israel.

Well, I've run out of allotted word count and haven't even touched on the Kops' ineptness or was it planned; Benghazigate? Oh, that's right - it was the Keystone Kops video that galvanized the murder of our ambassador and SEALS. Forgive my forgetfulness.

Larry Tradlener lives down McElmo Canyon.

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